What is Sleep?  I've Forgotten.

I belong to the post menopausal 3 a.m. club.  At 3 a.m. every night I wake up.  It's usually to go to the bathroom but then I cannot fall back to sleep.  I thought I was the only one who was sleep deprived, but just about every woman I know over the age of 60 has the same problem, at the same time.

Why don't we form a 3 a.m. club?  We could chat on line, exchange recipes, brag about our grandkids, complain about our children and just plain gossip.  Instead we suffer silently.

It's because when we went to that sleep clinic to make sure we didn't have apnea, we were told not to turn on any lights, not to read in bed, not to watch television and to only go to bed to sleep.  Their professional advice was get out of bed, walk around, go to another room and only get back in bed when you're tired.

Have you ever tried sneaking out of bed and walking around when there's a spouse sleeping next to you who's sure the slightest noise means someone's trying to break in to your house?  Tried it in the dead of winter when the heat has been turned down? I have a friend who used to sneak out of bed quietly and go in to the bathroom to read.   Not my idea of a fun place to be at 3 a.m., book in hand.

I tried meditating, deep breathing, closing my eyes and looking for a bright light to focus on.  I tried a different pillow, a better mattress, a completely darkened room. I even tried drinking a glass of warm milk before bed time but that just pushed the 3 a.m. potty call up to 2 a.m.

I suppose one day I might actually sleep the required six hours again, but when?